arlecer

why is it hard to accept that no one can love me the way i want to be love? do i always have to play that same old game? do i have to cry every time i heard that same old love song that make me reminisce those days? when will they know that i am already hurting every time they throw hurtful jokes about me? will they ever notice that i already set a line?  when would be the proper time for me to settle down after all this painful hurdles that i’m going through? when will all this questions can be answer? and by whom? would that be you? would that be that same old guy that i’ve known for a long time? how long can i still hold on to that dream of one day he’s with me till my very last breath? have i got enough courage and strength to pursue it? how long can i be myself? how long can i be a hopeless case in every love story?

i’ve been searching far and wide just to find all the answer to all my question, just to solve this problem that my heart have long been mending. but how cruel this world could be, when every time someone finds me to be loved, it always ends up with tragedy. is it really my fate to dumped and be played by them? or is it my fault why i always end up with nothing? did i deserve to be like this?

When can i find that right person?
—- That person that can make me feel new and whole, someone that is really meant for me, someone that can turn me 360 degrees, someone that can see the real me inside, someone that can be my someone….

I am desperate, as time passes by, my obligingness’s for him strongly pushes me to seek more of him. His presence still lingers on my mind, undoubtedly, no matter how hard I try to forget him the harder it gets to loose all of his memories. I deeply chase his presence. Longing to be with him. Yearning to touch him. But no matter what it is, its still came back to the reality that it can never be .

hahaha at last i got my first real and professional job out of my roller coaster college life hehehe after a long drought of waiting……………

i hope they absorb me and a regular of that company, as of today im doing very well in our account, as a matter of fact i’ve been a consistent team player topping almost everday in our calls, actually im one of the candidate to become the top performer for last weeks calls, i may sounds so boastful but for a first timer like me its a joyous feeling needed to be shouted to everyone, i hope i can still remain consistent all through out…..

hehehe a new week for me will start, a new leads to call, a new challenges to face, but for now got to relax and prepare myself for all those whose waiting for me in floor…. got to go now hehehe

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

jaymz patricio

Why do I always feel this pain everytime I think of You?

Is it because I’m still longing for you, or is it I’m just jealous of someone who’s filling up my place before? Maybe I’m just experiencing paranoia brought by my longing to love and be loved by YOU.

Why does tears paint my eyes everytime i try to reminisce the Past?

Is it because I’m just too scared and afraid not having You by my side, or is it I’m living in two moments in one time and having a hard time to choose which one to hold on and lived in and which one to let go? Maybe I’m just too reluctant to move on and accept the fact that I can’t turn back the hands of time and be with YOU all over again…

Why does it feels like my heart is pounding fast yet it tears apart everytime You’re around?

Is it because love freshen up itself both of the memories of loving YOU for the first time we’ve met and wounding my heart in the end, or is it wanting to revive and rewind the past and reliving all what had happen before. Maybe I’m just stuck in the middles of nowhere, wanting yet hating YOU, neglecting yet yearning to talk to YOU and be with YOU.

So many questions in mind waiting to find the appropriate answer, problems waiting to be solve, and experiment waiting to be concluded. No matter how fast I find the solution to all my queries, when it comes to loving YOU, it would always come and go, solved and unsolved. Reminders should be kept, that questions would always knocks at our door, time to time. One thing is constant in question . . . it always come endlessly… I’ll always have question when it comes to YOU……

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I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you and I'm wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go
You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone

Jaymz you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they
Keep runnin' down my face
Why did you turn away

[Interlude]
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
(crazy)
How can you walk away
(When)
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby

What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is and it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me
You're still in love with me
Don't leave me crying

Baby why can't we just, just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance
I can love you right
But you're telling me it won't be enough

[Chorus]
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you

[Interlude]
So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me
But I know it's a lie
What you're keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing I do

[Chorus]
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don't know what else I can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I fine it just ain't true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I'll wait for you
I'll be waiting...

It is hard to forget someone you don’t really want to forget,its hard to move on if you don’t really want to, it is hard to be myself, i always thought that i can please everyone just by being myself but i believe you can’t really please everyone just by being you.

I’ve already shown him the real me,the best and worst of me, that’s why i always want to fool around to forget those things(problems), but why he always push me around or why he always neglect me, all my calls and even my text, I know that somewhere in my past i have used to hurt him, it may not be that physical but i know that i’ve hurt him. I feel so neglected during those time that i wait for his text, but all i want is just a simple hello or hi or even a bad words from him will do, but not even a blank message from him can be seen in my cell phone, I really do miss him a lot…

I’ve been such a fool when i’ve been given a chance not only a glimpse but a chance to talk to him but i just wasted it all off, i am such a big fool for letting that chance slipped away… i am guilty for  neglecting him at that very instant, stupidity conquers my nerve…

If given that chance again, i’ll grab it all, never letting that moment pass me by again, i don’t know why i’m acting so weird, is it that i really do miss a friend like him or a special someone? But if God would let me forget someone from my past i would rather not choose you…

You’re someone from my past that i would always cherished and adorned even if this would mean bringing back again the pain…

I am just hoping that it would turn out the best for us… Hope we could bring back atleast the friendship….

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well, I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
I got to go home

Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I'm living someone elses life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
This was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It'll all be alright
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home  

Look at me
Look at me
I am changing, tryin' every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
I'm trying-to find a way to understand
But I need you, I need you-I need a hand

I am changing, seeing everything so clear
I am changng, I'm gonna start right now, right here
I'm hoping to work it out, and I know that I can
But I need you, I need a hand

All my life I've been a fool
Who said I could do it all alone
How many good friends have I already lost
How many dark nights have I known

Walking down that wrong road, there was nothing I could find
All those years of darkness-can make a person blind
But now I can see

I am changing, tryin every way I can
I am changing, I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend-to help me start all over again,
oh-that would be just fine
I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am-This time I am

I am changing, gonna get my life together now
I am changing, yes, I know how
I'm gonna start again, I'm leaving my past behind
I'll change my life-I'll make a vow
And nothing's gonna stop me now...hey

I've been down, but now I'm blessed,
I felt a revelation comin around,
I guess it's right, it's so amazing,
Everytime I see you, I'm alive,
You're all I got, you lift me up,
The sun and the moonlight,
All my dreams are in your eyes,

(Chorus)
I wanna be inside your heaven,
Take me to the place you cry from,
Where the storm blows your way,
I wanna be the Earth that holds you,
Every bit of air you breathin in, of soothin wind
I wanna be inside your heaven.

When we touch
When we love
The stars line up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally my soul surrenders
The sun and moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

(Chorus)

When minutes turn to days and years,
If mountains fall I'll still be here,
Holding you the day I die,

I wanna be inside your heaven,
Take me to the place you cry from,
Where the storm blows your way,

(Chorus)

Oh yes I do,
When I want to be inside your heaven

Oh yes

Put away the pictures
Put away the memories
I’ve poured over and over
Through my tears
I’ve held them till I’m blind
They kept my hope alive
As if somehow that might keep you here
Once you believed in a love forever more
How do you leave it in a drawer

Now here it comes
The hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that’s holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess I’m just learning
Learning the art of letting go

Try to say it’s over
Say the word goodbye
But each time it catches in my throat
Your still here in me
And I can’t set you free
So I hold on to what I wanted most
Maybe someday we’ll be friends forever more
Wish I could open up that door

Now here it comes
The hardest part of all
Unchain my heart that holding on
How do I start to live my life alone
Guess I’m just learning
Learning the art of letting go

Watching us fade
What can I do
But try to make it through the pain
Now one more day without you

Where do I start to live my life alone
I guess I’m learning
Only learning
Learning the art of letting go